 |
free hosting image hosting hosting reseller online album e-shop famous people |  |
  |
||
|
free hosting image hosting hosting reseller online album e-shop famous people | |
|
||
( Chapter One )
|
Chapter Two
|
Title: When Insanity Meets Hogwarts * * * Harry lay flat on his back, breathing hard as though he had been running. Kahlan: lose weight while you sleep!! He had awoken from a vivid dream with his hands pressed over his face. The old scar on his forehead, which was shaped like a bolt of lightening, was burning beneath his fingers as though someone had just pressed a white hot wire to his skin. (Sabrina and Kahlan innocently put one of Dudley's old, wrecked electronic devices which they had heated up behind their backs and whistle, looking at the ceiling.) He sat up, one had still on his scar, the other reaching out into the darkness for his glasses- (Kahlan takes them off and places them on the bedside table.) -which were on the bedside table. He put them on and his bedroom came into a clearer focus, lit by a faint, misty orange light- Kahlan: *yelling* Ok Sabrina, you can turn the smoke machine off now! -that was filtering through the curtains from the street lamp outside the window. (Harry stared at the two girls, puzzled. They looked at him and smiled cheerfully, then bent their heads together and began whispering conspiratorially.) Harry ran his fingers over his scar again. It was still painful. Sabrina: Uh oh, you think we hurt him? Dumbledore will kill us… He turned on the lamp beside him, scrambled out of bed, crossed the room, opened his wardrobe, and peered into a mirror on the inside of the door. Kahlan: Who keeps a mirror on the inside door of their closet? A skinny boy of fourteen looked back at him, his bright green eyes puzzled under his untidy black hair. Kahlan as Harry: 'Allo, by any chance do I know you? You look a bit…familiar… He examined the lightening bolt scar of his reflection more closely. It looked normal, but it was still stinging. Harry tried to recall- Kahlan: Where he had hidden the plans for World Domination he had created
with the help of Voldemort. -what he had been dreaming about before he had awoken. It had seemed so real- Kahlan: *extremely sarcastic* Maybe because it was… -…There had been two people he knew and one he didn't…- Sabrina: Why do they never mention us…?! -He concentrated hard, frowning, trying to remember… The dim picture of a darkened room came to him…There had been a snake on the hearth rug…a small man called Peter, nicknamed Wormtail…and a cold, high voice…the voice of Lord Voldemort. Harry felt as though an ice cube had just slipped down into his stomach at the very thought… Kahlan: Sabrina, put the ice away!!! He closed his eyes tightly and tried to remember what Voldemort had looked like, but it was impossible… Kahlan: Believe us, it’s a lot better that way… All Harry knew- Kahlan: Was that those two girls were really starting to scare him… -was that at the moment when Voldemort's chair had swung around, and he, Harry, had seen what was sitting in it, he had felt a spasm of horror, which had awoken him…or had that been the pain in his scar? Sabrina: Neither, it was Kahlan electrocuting you. And who had the old man been? For there had definitely been an old man; Harry had watched him fall to the ground. It was all becoming confused. Harry put his face in his hands- Kahlan: It's ok…don't cry…I'm sure Frank is…er…doing fine… -blocking out his bedroom, trying to hold onto the picture of the dimly lit room- Kahlan: *Grabs photo out of Harry's hand* Hey, that's my picture. I took it
with my digital camera! -but it was like trying to keep water in his cupped hands; the details were trickling away as fast as he could hold onto them…Voldemort and Wormtail had been talking about someone they had killed- Kahlan: Yeah, that was when Voldemort tried to make a joke…*shudder* -though Harry could not remember the name…and they had been plotting to kill someone…him! Sabrina: Yeah, what else do they do? Harry took his face out of his hands, opened his eyes, and stared around his bedroom as though expecting to see something unusual there. (His eyes rested on the two girls and he realized what he was expecting to
see…) As it happened, there were an extraordinary number of unusual things in his room. A large, wooden- Kahlan: Voodoo doll of Snape! -trunk stood open at the foot of his bed, revealing- Kahlan: Close your lid this instant!! -a cauldren, black robes, and assorted spellbooks. (The two girls give a muffled yell of excitement and run over to the chest, picking up various books and flipping through them. Harry started to say something, but wisely decided not to interfere.) Rolls of parchment littered that part of his desk that was not taken up by a large, empty cage in which his snowy owl, Hedgwig, usually perched. On the floor beside his bed a book lay open; Harry had been reading it before he had fallen asleep last night. The pictures in the book were all moving. Men in bright orange robes were zooming- Sabrina: *singing* zoom zoom zoom…. -in and out of sight on broomsticks, throwing a red ball to one another. Kahlan: I just realized how perverted you can make Quidditch sound if you
want to… Harry walked over to the book, picked it up, and watched one of the wizards- Sabrina: Crash into the goalpost, clumsy fellow! -score a spectacular goal by putting the ball through a fifty-foot-high hoop. Then he snapped the book shut. Even Quidditch-in Harry's opinion the best sport in the world-couldn't distract him at the moment. Sabrina: Don't worry, we'll help you…*malicious grin* He placed Flying with the Cannons on his bedside table, crossed to the window, and drew back the curtains to survey the street below. Sabrina as Harry: You, Mr. Lamp Post over there! I was wondering what laundry detergent you use most often… Privet Drive looked exactly as a respectable suburban street would be expected to look in the early hours of Saturday morning. Kahlan: There were people hanging out windows drunk, singing at the top of
their lungs… All the curtains were closed. As far as Harry could see through the darkness, there wasn't a living creature in sight, not even a cat. And yet…and yet… Kahlan: Excuse me, but we heard you think that the first time… -Harry went restlessly back to the bed and sat down on it- (The two girls jump up before he sits on them, muttering about "being polite to guests" and how "they were just getting comfortable") -running a finger over his scar again. It wasn't the pain that bothered him; Harry was no longer a stranger- Sabrina: Very pleased to meet you Harry. -to pain and injury. He had lost all the bones from his right arm once and had them painfully regrown in a night. The same arm had been pierced- Kahlan: Oh cool, Harry has an arm ring! -by a venomous foot-long fang not long afterward. Only last year Harry had fallen fifty feet from an airborne broomstick. He was used to bizarre accidents and injuries; they were unavoidable if you attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and had a knack for attracting a lot of trouble. Sabrina: Ah, there are others like us Kahlan. No, the thing that was bothering Harry was that- Kahlan: He didn't know the square root of 5,768,543,234. -last time his scar had hurt him, it had been because Voldemort had been close by- Kahlan as Harry: *turns around and sees Voldemort* How long have you been standing there?! You scared me for a second, Voldie old pal… -But Voldemort couldn't be here, now…The idea of Voldemort lurking in Privet drive would be absurd, impossible… Harry listened closely to the silence around him. Was he half-expecting to hear the creak of a stair or the swish of a cloak? And then he jumped slightly as he heard his cousin Dudley give a tremendous grunting snore from the next room. Harry shook himself mentally; he was being stupid. Sabrina: Aaaw, don't stop! There was no one in the house- Sabrina: Woohoo, party time! -with him except Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley, and they were plainly still asleep, their dreams untroubled and painless. Asleep was the way Harry liked the Dursleys best; it wasn't as though they were ever any help to him awake. Uncle Vernon, Aun Petunia, and Dudley were Harry's only living relatives. They were Muggles who hated and despised- Kahlan: and loathed -magic in any form, which meant that Harry was about as welcome in their house as dry rot. Kahlan: Kinda the opposite of the Malfoys if you think about it. They had explained Harry's long absences at Hogwarts over the last three years by telling everyone that- Kahlan: They kept trying to kill him, but he was resurrected every June. -he went to St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys. They knew perfectly well that, as an underage wizard, Harry wasn't allowed to- Kahlan: Drink and go to late night parties. -use magic outside Hogwarts, but they were still apt to blame him for anything that went wrong about the house. Kahlan: *shakes head sadly* We never get any credit… -Harry had never been able to confide in them or tell them anything about his life in the wizarding world. The very idea of him going to them when they awoke, and telling them about- Kahlan: His insomnia. -his scar hurting him, and about his worries about Voldemort, was laughable. And yet it was because of Voldemort that Harry had come to live with the Dursleys in the first place. If it hadn't been for Voldemort, Harry would not have had the lightning scar on his forehead. If it hadn't been for Voldemort, Harry would still have had his parents… Harry had been a year old the night that Voldemort- the most powerful- Kahlan: most evil -Dark wizard for a century, a wizard who had been gaining power steadily for eleven years- arrived at his house and- Kahlan: Tried to sell them a blue toaster. -killed his father and mother. Voldemort had then turned his wand on Harry; he had performed the curse that had disposed of many full-grown witches and wizards in his steady rise to power- and, incredibly, it had not worked. Kahlan: *sarcastically* No…the curse actually worked. This is Harry's
twin also named Harry…sheesh! Instead of killing the small boy, the curse had rebounded upon Voldemort. Harry had survived with nothing but a lighting shaped cut on his forehead, and Voldemort had been reduced to something barely alive. Sabrina: Baby power! His powers gone, his life almost extinguished, Voldemort had fled; the terror in which the secret community of witches and wizards had lived for so long had lifted, Voldemort's followers had disbanded, and Harry Potter had become famous. *Kahlan and Sabrina clap politely* Sabrina: Very impressive. It had been enough of a shock for Harry to discover, on his eleventh birthday, that he was a wizard; it had been even more disconcerting to find out that everyone in the hidden wizarding world knew his name. Harry had arrived at Hogwarts to find that heads turned and whispers followed him wherever he went. Sabrina: But that happens to us too… But he was used to it now: At the end of this summer, he would be starting his fourth year at Hogwarts, and Harry was already counting the days until he was back at the castle. Sabrina: Yeah, so are we. But there was still a forenight to go before he went back to school. Kahlan: Damn! He looked hopelessly around his room again, and his eye pause on the birthday cards his two best friends had sent him at the end of July. What would they say if Harry wrote to them and told them about his scar hurting? At once, Hermione Granger's voice seemed to fill his head, shrill and panicky. Sabrina: Hm…he hears the voices too… "Your scar hurt? Harry, that's really serious…Write to Proffesor Dumbledore! And I'll go check Common Magical Ailments and Afflictions…Maybe there's something in there about curse scars…" Kahlan: *snort* hehe nice impression Harry. Yes, that would be Hermione's advice: Go straight to the headmaster of Hogwarts, and in the meantime, consult a book. Sabrina: Yes, she does seem to like books, doesn't she? Harry stared out the window at the inky blue-black sky. He doubted very much whether a book could help him now. As far as he knew, he was the only living person to have survived a curse like Voldemort's; it was highly unlikely, therefore, that he would find his symptoms listed in Common Magical Ailments and Afflictions. As for informing the headmaster, Harry had no idea where Dumbledore went during the summer holidays. Kahlan: He works part-time at a strip club in New York, didn’t you know? He amused himself for a moment, picturing Dumbledore, with his long silver beard, full length wizard's robes, and pointed hat, stretched out on a beach somewhere, rubbing suntan lotion on his long, crooked nose. Kahlan: Dumbledore at the beach…getting a tan…picking up some chicks…lol Wherever Dumbledore was, though, Harry was sure that Hedwig would be able to find him; Harry's owl had never yet failed to deliver a letter to anyone, even without an adress. Kahlan: We should alert the CIA about this, an owl that can find anyone! But what would be write? Dear Professor Dumbledore, Sorry to bother you, but my scar hurt this morning. Yours sincerely, Harry Potter. Even in his head the words sounded stupid. Kahlan as Dumbledore: I was busy talking to this really hot girl at the beach about Muggle candy, and you send me this stupid letter about 'your scar hurting'! You just don't realize that no one gives a damn! And so he tried to imagine his other best friend, Ron Weasley's, reaction, and in a moment, Ron's red hair and long-nosed, freckled face seemed to swim before Harry, wearing a bemused expression. Sabrina: Doing breaststroke! "Your scar hurt? But…but You-Know-Who- Kahlan: No, we don't know who… -can't be near you now, can he? I mean…you'd know, wouldn't you? He'd be trying to do you in again, wouldn't he? I dunno, Harry, maybe curse scars always twinge a bit…I'll ask Dad…" Sabrina: This one isn't the sharpest tool in the shed is he… Mr. Weasley was a fully qualified- Kahlan: Assasin. -wizard who worked in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office at the Ministry of Magic, but he didn't have any paticular expertise in the matter of curses, as far as Harry knew. In any case, Harry didn't like the idea of the whole Weasly family knowing that he, Harry- Kahlan: was afraid of the dark. -was getting jumpy about a few moments' pain. Mrs. Weasley would fuss worse than Hermione, and Fred and George, Ron's sixteen-year-old twin brothers, might think Harry was losing his nerve. Kahlan: Yes, he has this "reputation" of saving the world… The Weasleys were Harry's favorite family in the world; he was hoping that they might invite him to stay any time now (Ron had mentioned something about the Quidditch World Cup)- Sabrina: Ha, he did know! -and he somehow didn't want his visit punctuated by anxious inquiries about his scar. Harry kneaded his forehead with his knuckles. Sabrina: Cooking with Harry Potter! On today's show you'll be learning how to knead dough! Practice this useful skill on everyday household items or even your own forehead! What he really wanted (and it almost felt shameful to admit it to himself)- Kahlan: I'm not going to comment on that one… -was someone like- someone like a parent: an adult wizard whose advice he could ask without feeling stupid, someone who cared about him, who had experience with Dark Magic… Kahlan as Harry: I know, I'll write to Professor Snape! And then the solution came to him. It was so simple, and so obvious, that he couldn't believe it had taken so long-Sirius! Sabrina: He's serious about what…? Harry leapt up from the bed- Kahlan: and rode off into the night, never to be seen again. -, hurried across the room, and sat down at his desk; he pulled a piece of parchment toward him, loaded his eagle-feather quill- Sabrina: Uh oh, he's armed! -with ink, wrote Dear Sirius, then paused, wondering how best to phrase his problem, still marveling at the fact that he hadn't thought of Sirius straight away. But then, perhaps it wasn't so surprising- after all, he had only found out that Sirius was his godfather two months ago. There was a simple reason for Sirius's complete absence from Harry's life until then- Kahlan: Sirius had been abducted by aliens for 13 years… -Sirius had been in Azkaban, the terrifying wizard jail guarded by creatures called dementors, sightless, soul-sucking fiends who had come to search for Sirius at Hogwarts when he had escaped. Kahlan: On the whole very nice people. Yet Sirius had been innocent- the murders for which he had been convicted had been committed by Wormtail, Voldemort's supporter, whom nearly everybody now believed dead. Harry, Ron, and Hermione knew otherwise, however; they had come face to face with Wormtail- Kahlan: One night at a topless bar…. -only the previous year, though only Professor Dumbledore had believed their story. For one glorious hour, Harry had believed that- Kahlan: Snape would either retire or get sacked. -he was leaving the Dursleys at last, because Sirius had offered him a home once his name had been cleared. But the chance had been snatched away from him- Wormtail had escaped before they could take him to the Ministry of Magic, and Sirius had had to- Sabrina: Disguise himself by changing his name to J. J. (Just Joking.) -flee for his life. Harry had helped him escape on the back of a hippogriff called Buckbeak, and since then, Sirius had been on the run. The home Harry might have had if Wormtail had not escaped had been haunting him all summer. Kahlan as Home: Haha, you could have lived in me…but you lost the
chaaance… It had been doubly hard to return to the Dursleys knowing that he had so nearly escaped them forever. Nevertheless, Sirius had been of some help to Harry, even if he couldn't be with him. Kahlan: Sirius was the one who invited him to that drug ring meeting… It was due to Sirius that Harry now had all his school things in his bedroom with him. Sabrina: That's a good thing? The Dursleys had never allowed this before; their general wish of- Kahlan: world domination. -keeping Harry as miserable as possible, coupled with their fears of his powers, had led them to- Kahlan: Buy shackles and put Harry in them for the summer, only feeding him
occasionally. -lock his school trunk in the cupboard under the stairs every summer prior to this. But their attitude had changed since- Kahlan: Harry had "accidently" let it slip that… -they had found out that Harry had a dangerous murderer for a godfather- for Harry had conveniently forgotten to tell them that Sirius was innocent. Sabrina: Very nice, way to use blackmail to get what you want… Harry had received two letters from Sirius since he had been back at Privet Drive. Both had been delivered not by owls (as was usual with wizards), but by large, brightly colored- Kahlan: Flying mailmen. -tropical birds. Kahlan: *in mock pondering tone* Hm…I wonder where he could be… Hedwig had not approved of these flashy intruders; she had been most reluctant to allow them to drink from her water tray before flying off again. Kahlan: Well, if Hedwig gets some strange tropical bird disease we'll all know why… Harry, on the other hand, had liked them; Sabrina as Harry: They had tasted very good with a pinch of salt and some horseradish. -they put him in mind of palm trees and white sand, and he hoped that, wherever Sirius was (Sirius never said, in case the letters were intercepted)- Sabrina: Actually he probably just doesn't want you visiting him… -, he was enjoying himself. Somehow, Harry found it hard to imagine dementors surviving for long in the bright sunlight; perhaps that was why Sirius had gone south. Kahlan: Or perhaps they just have really nice beaches and he wanted a tan… Sirius's letters, which were now hidden beneath the highly loose floorboard under Harry's bed- Sabrina: *sarcastic* Nice place to put them…good thinking Harry… -, sounded cheerful, and in both of them he had reminded Harry to call on him if ever Harry needed to. Well, he needed to now, all right. Kahlan: Right, we get the point, now please write the letter, will you? Harry's lamp seemed to grow dimmer as the cold gray light that precedes sunrise slowly crept into the room. Kahlan: Watch out, it's coming closer…. Finally, when the sun had risen, when his bedroom walls had been turned to gold- Kahlan: *in awe* Harry's an alchemist? -, and when the sounds of movement could be heard from Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia's room- Sabrina: I didn't think they were alive for a while… -, Harry cleared his desk of crumpled pieces of parchment and reread his finished letter. (Kahlan and Sabrina walk over to the desk and read quietly over Harry's shoulder.) Dear Siruis, Thanks for your first letter. That bird was enormous; it could hardly get through my window. Kahlan as Harry: And that recipe for tropical bird with lemon was absolutely fabulous. Things are the same as usual here. Dudley's diet isn't going to well. Kahlan: Dudley…diet? If I were them I'd just skip the diet and move straight to liposuction… My aunt found him smuggling doughnuts into his room yesterday. They told him they'd have to cut his pocket money- Sabrina: From $50 to $49.99. -if he keeps doing it, so he got really angry and chucked his- Kahlan: parents -PlayStation out of the window. That's a sort of computer you can play games on. Bit stupid, really, - Sabrina: Well, he's not the brightest child, now is he? -now he hasn't even got Mega-Mutilation Part Three to take his mind off things. I'm okay, mainly because the Dursleys are terrified you might turn up and turn them all into bats if I ask you to. Kahlan: Don't worry Harry, we'll do it for you. A weird thing happened this morning though. Kahlan as Harry: I woke up, and these two girls were standing there
watching me… My scar hurt again. Kahlan: Nice, blunt way to put it… Last time that happened it was because Voldemort was at Hogwarts. But I don't reckon he can be anywhere near me now, can he? Do you know if curse scars sometimes hurt years afterward? I'll send this with Hedwig when she gets back; she's off hunting at the moment. Say hello to Buckbeack for me. Harry Yes, thought Harry, that looked all right. Kahlan: Now all he had to do was get Sirius to come so he could turn him in to the Ministry… There was no point putting in the dream; he didn't want it to look as though he was too worried. Sabrina: Sorry, but you've already failed that class… He folded up the parchment and laid it aside on his desk, ready for when Hedwig returned. Then he got to his feet, stretched, and opened his wardrobe once more. (Harry looked pointedly at the wardrobe, then back at the girls. They sigh, and disappear, to reappear right outside the door in case Harry had any ideas of "escaping.") Without glancing at his reflection, he started to get dressed before going down to breakfast. |